Forgive and Give

Jesus said to His disciples: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. We ask ourselves: What does it mean for disciples to be merciful? Jesus explains this with two verbs: “forgive” (Lk 6:37) and “give” (v. 38).

The Christian must forgive! Why? Because he/she has been forgiven. There is a story about the word “forgiven” engraved on a tombstone in a cemetery somewhere in New York City. No date of birth, no date of death, no epitaph. Just the person’s name and the word “Forgiven.” Come to think of it, in the end, that is the only thing that matters. After all has been said and done, what matters most is that we leave this world in God’s mercy and love.

Humility is the key to forgiveness. Without humility, we cannot accept our mistakes, and without humility, we cannot accept others’ mistakes. When unable to forgive, instead of following the proud who says “who-are-they-anyway?”, try to start with the humble line “who-am-I-anyway?” If we really know and accept who we really are, we can surely let go of our insecurities and pride.

Forgiveness is a choice, a decision we make.  When we forgive, we set free not the other person, but ourselves. When we let go of pride and hurts, we open ourselves to peace and happiness. To forgive does not mean to say it did not happen (it did happen!), neither does it mean to say that it didn’t hurt (it did hurt!). Fr. Timothy Radcliffe, OP once said “Forgiveness is not the scrubbing out of our sins, pretending as though they never happened. Forgiveness is a blessing through which even our failures are taken up into God’s grace and become part of our way to God.”

Jesus also indicates a second pillar: “to give”. Forgiveness is the first; giving is the second. “Give, and it will be given to you.... For the measure you give will be the measure you get back” (v. 38). God gives far beyond our merits, but He will be even more generous with those who have been generous on earth. Jesus does not say what will happen to those who do not give, but the image of the “measure” is a warning: with the measure that we give, it is we who determine how we will be judged, how we will be loved. Never regret being a good and nice person, even to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you. Their behavior says everything about them.

Invert the word “forgive” and you have the words “give for.” The secret of forgiveness is to give for the Lord the hurts and anger within. That which we cannot fix, let the Lord fix. That which we cannot handle, let the Lord handle. Forgive and give.